?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Franis
dialoguers
..:..::.:.:. .: ..::::.:: .::::...: .:::. ..:....:


From A Dialoguer Who Writes
I'm happy to offer the benefit of my observations. I would love to know how or if you can use what I've been exploring here.

If you'd like to contact me personally to get in touch, check out my website.

August 2009
            1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31

Franis [userpic]
Suspending

Suspension is not inhibition in the Freudian sense. It's not a hangup, to feel embarrassed or self-conscious. People aren't used to using the skill of suspension without their inhibitions. It takes subtracting the policing part of judging themselves.

I don't think that using suspension "too often" is self-denial. Self-denial has the element of self-judgment.

Suspension as a deliberate action is a way to recognize and subtract one's own dominant routine - not to replace it with something that is "right" as people seem to want to do when they judge. That works best if you aren't substituting a "new and better" habit in it's place. Suspend and pay attention to see what happens. Who you are and what to do next will both be answered as you perceive with a fresh, renewed sensory ability that doesn't have the habitual routine in the way.

What happens when you actually suspend? Your proprioceptive ability pops out. This is true if you're doing Dialogue while using proprioception of thought, or doing Alexander Technique and using actual proprioception of balance and effort.

So, once you've got that proprioception into gear - make it work for you. Turn it on what you suspended (without the urge to "fix" what's wrong or bad,) and you'll see the workings of the routine for what it is. If what you did before to "fix" it didn't really work so well, try something new. Make a move in a new direction or conduct an experiment by assuming a new attitude of thinking, and your proprioceptive sense will work to tell you what really is happening - to the best of its' ability. Your sense of location and effort that is physical proprioceptive sense gives you relative feedback. Sometimes you will even make a discovery or get an insight.

I've seen it happen quite a bit like this in many, many people.

I noticed during Dialogue groups, when people first discover the idea of suspension - they stop talking. They seem to be busy asking themselves, "WHY do I want to say this? Where does this urge to say this come from in me?" Then after awhile, these people start talking again, at first more deliberately, but then their sense of humor comes out. Their fear of public speaking goes away.

Wonder if the process of suspension needs an additional skill? As it is so handy to be able to make a move in a new direction physically using Alexander's sense of Primary Control - how a little knowledge of living anatomy can be so useful.

The way that would work for Dialogue would be a form of pro-active movement too, perhaps the skill of forward thinking. To put this into practice, exercising a skill of memory would also be handy. You need this skill so you do not forget what you thought needed to be said while you were listening to other people talking.

To use suspension proactively, a necessary skill for Dialogue (for me) has become the ability to hang on to a thread of meaning past many people speaking. Perhaps what you thought of saying will be said by another person.

This takes practice. You would realize you want to say something. You would suspend talking about it for a moment; listen to see if someone else is going to say it for you. Then if nobody has brought up that direction of the subject, it can be said. Because you've suspended, you can choose the most effective moment for it to be said. This has a much different effectiveness for communication than just blurting something out whenever it comes to mind. Try it in your next conversation!

Comments
(Anonymous)
keeping silence

Saying what you need to say much later to one person instead of to the group is another way of suspending proactively. It has much more impact for that one person.

Re: keeping silence

Good suggestion. We used to meet after doing Dialogue at a restaurant where everyone from the Dialogue was invited and talk about what experiences we'd had, sometimes continuing the conversations.

(Anonymous)
re:

Really.

(Anonymous)
Can't wait to make a contribution

Hey - I am really delighted to discover this. cool job!

Request for Clarification

Hello Franis,
This is Luis.
I am unclear on what one is suspending. Further clarification of what it is in action would be helpful.
I am thinking that perhaps you are speaking of an exercise called 'The observer', wherein we get outside of our flow of action, without interrupting or changing it in any way, but observe very carefully what we are doing. We note everything without any attempt to note anything in particular. Just observe (notice, feel) what we are doing. Doing this one feels very in the moment while at the same time feeling 'outside' oneself. It produces a overall sense of perceiving the fullness of everything about oneself. No judgements, no thinking, no changing, just observing self (sensing self). Is this what you are referring to here or is it different?

Yes, you've got it right! What you say here is definitely a sensation of what it feels like to suspend.
You're suspending the goal...your idea of the purpose of what "should be" happening, if you have it. If you don't have an idea of the goal, you're suspending the urge you have to "say something" in particular. Sometimes you do it to see if someone else will say it instead of you. Sometimes you suspend saying it to see if it really needs to be said.